这个话题到现在这已经是老生常谈了：科技公司的董事会（或者任何公司董事会）中难觅女性影踪；财富500强的首席执行官中女性比例低于3%；女性收入只有男性的77%。没错，这些我们都听说过了。职场一直都存在“女性问题”最近几个月愈演愈烈。我们知道这样一个鲜为人知的研究：有远见的公司会吸收女性加入决策层，而这些公司往往拥有更好的盈利、更快乐的员工、更具社会责任意识。那很好，但在其它公司的女性状况如何？你知道，并不是所有公司都会看重领导团队的多元化。

    2008年我第一次作为分析师参加麦肯锡（McKinsey）的会议却没有发言。我保持沉默的原因是怕说错话。我觉得自己没什么可说的，我甚至不确定他人是否在意我的观点。这种不安全感从何而来？

    女性在向权力顶峰攀登的过程中阻碍重重，而且这种阻碍不仅仅存在于最后几级。希拉里•克林顿的前顾问安妮-玛丽•斯劳特的文章《为何女人依旧无法内外兼顾》（Why Women Still Can't Have it All）所关注的女性觉得她们为了成家只有牺牲职业。当然，我目前只有26岁，不会假装明白兼顾职业和下一代是什么感觉，但身为一个单亲身业女性（更不用说她还是位社会学家）的女儿，我还是可以说我了解将来所要面临的艰难选择。最重要的是我明白，不要轻易评判其她女性的人生决定。斯劳特的文章和“女性空间”里的很多其她声音也给出了补救措施，例如广泛的社会变革，共同分担养育子女的责任和灵活的时间安排等。

    这些建议把责任推给体制。如果这是个完美的世界，做到这一点就足够了。但社会文化的改变其实就像冰川移动般缓慢。我们不能再自我欺骗，以为凭借几位女性的大声疾呼和猛烈攻击就能迫使公司就范，就能让更多女性获得顶级职位。确实，看看我们如何改变自己所在的公司，这是往正确方向迈出的一步，但我们需要更多地与各行各业的职业女性展开合作性的对话。我们需要更专注于可行的方案和容易获得的技能，如此，才能对抗阻碍女性向上爬升的制度偏见。

    泛泛而谈事业和家庭的平衡当然是有益的，但它将一大批女性排除在了外面：单亲母亲、没有子女的女性和刚刚开始职业生涯的女性（下一代还远未提上议事日程）。我们应该更多地注重向女性提供全过程的职业战略建议，这样她们就能为成功做好准备。而它包括坦诚地探讨成功和失败的例子，抛开通常的虚伪外表，勇敢面对失败。（没有人十全十美。）

    It's a broken record at this point: the dearth of women on boards of tech companies (or on any boards for that matter); that less than 3% of Fortune 500 CEOs are women; that women make 77 cents to a man's dollar. Yes, we've heard. There are "Women's Issues" in the workplace, and they have taken a new turn in recent months. While less publicized, we know the research: Companies that are forward-thinking enough to include women in decision-making tend to flaunt better bottom lines, happier employees, and more socially-conscious businesses. That's all great, but what about women at the other companies? You know, the companies that aren't as focused on creating diverse leadership teams.

    In my first meeting as an analyst at McKinsey in 2008, I didn't speak. Afraid that I would sound stupid, I sat there quietly. I didn't believe that I had anything worthy to say, and I didn't know if anyone would care about my point of view. Where did this insecurity come from?

    Women face barriers when climbing to the top, but it's not always on those last few rungs. Former Hillary Clinton aide Anne-Marie Slaughter's article "Why Women Still Can't Have it All" focused on women who feel like they must bow out of their careers to start a family. While at 26 I can't pretend to know what it will be like to have a child and a career, I can say as the daughter of a working single mother (a sociologist to boot) I know I will face tough choices down the line. And most importantly I know the importance of not judging other women's life decisions. Slaughter's article and many other voices in this "women's space" suggest remedies like broad-based social change, 50/50 parenting, and flexible hours.

    All of those things place the responsibility on the institutions. In a perfect world, that would be enough. But cultural change often runs at a glacial pace. We need to stop pretending that getting more women to the top is going to magically happen by relying on several women asking for change and launching fiery attacks at companies that don't. Sure, it's a step in the right direction to look at how we change the institutions that employ us, but we need to shift toward collaborative conversations with businesswomen of all types. And we need to focus more on actionable solutions and skills that we can build to combat the institutional biases towards women's ascent to the top.

    The typical work-life conversations are helpful, but they exclude huge numbers of women: single mothers, those without children, and those just starting out their careers (with babies not even a blip on their radar). Focusing more on providing career strategies to women throughout their careers will set them up for success. That involves honestly discussing the approaches that work and those that fail -- beyond the usual veneer -- and without being ashamed of failure. (Nobody's perfect.)

    如果女性觉得现在没有安全的空间来分享自己的经历，那就是我们应该着手做的事，现在就要去创造这种环境，不管是在线上还是线下。

    没有一种放之四海而皆准的方法可以帮助所有女性，事实上也不该有。多元化的各种观点显示了职业女性群体的活力，而不是混乱和纷争。了解各种途径和选项只会帮助职业才刚刚起步的年轻女性。互相攻击，或者攻击男性没有半点好处。最后我们还是回到安全空间的概念：我们需要开展开放和坦诚的讨论，我们需要尊重与我们意见相左的人，而不是去攻击他们。

    我需要明白：即使我失败了，也不要紧。我还可以重整旗鼓，东山再起，吉尔特集团（Gilt Groupe）董事长苏珊•莱恩2004年失去ABC娱乐总裁的职位后，她当时的所作所为就是我的榜样。我需要知道：如果攀登巅峰是一段旅程，那么心烦意乱、工作和家庭的艰难抉择、感觉失去诚信乃至犯错，这些都是这段旅程的一部分。

    分享这些经历并不代表女性的脆弱，相反，它展示了女人的勇气。我需要听到那些已经到达顶峰的女性讲述自己的经历，而不是抱怨成功女性太少。抱怨不能教会我任何东西，而坦诚和开放的榜样却能让我了解将要面对的困难。而最重要的一点是，这些成功女性的故事让我知道：虽然我有时会孤独无助，但她们的同样有过类似的感受。

    阿曼达•庞特和卡罗琳•戈恩共同创建了面向年轻职业女性的社交网络The Levo League（后者的父亲卡洛斯•戈恩是日产-雷诺公司总裁——译注）。

    If women don't feel that there are currently safe spaces to share, this is where we need to start; it's time to create those environments, online and off.

    There is no single sweeping solution that will help all women. And there's no reason there should be. Having a diverse array of opinions is a sign of life within the community of professional women, not a symbol of disarray or cattiness. And knowing about the different paths and options can only help younger women starting their careers. Attacking one another and those of the opposite sex will not. It all goes back to the idea of safe spaces - we need to be able to have open and honest discussions, and we need to respect those who we disagree with, not attack them.

    I need to know that if I do fail, it is okay. That I will get up and bounce back, just as Gilt Groupe Chairman Susan Lyne did after getting let go from her position as president of ABC Entertainment in 2004. I need to hear that being upset, facing impossible work-life decisions, feeling like a fraud, or making mistakes is all a part of the journey to reaching the top.

    Sharing these stories doesn't make professional women weak. In fact, it shows strength. I need to hear the stories of women who have made it to the top rather than the complaints that there aren't enough of them there. Complaining teaches me nothing, but honest and open role models give me an insight into the difficulties I will face. And most of all, these women's honest stories let me know that while I may feel alone at times, I am not.

    Amanda Pouchot co-founded The Levo League with Caroline Ghosn.