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女人味对于职场女性是把双面刃

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    Female leaders have little issue defining the rules that lead to success in their various industries. But ask them about the rules dictating how professional women should present themselves to optimize their career goals and there’s a good chance your question will be met with hesitation.

    Why? For women in the workplace, the whole appearance topic is nothing short of a contradiction-riddled minefield.

    They’ve been told attractive people are better off. Thanks to an innate human bias that’s become known as the “what is beautiful is good” effect, beautiful employees are seen as more intelligent, more competent, more everything-that’s-good. Attractiveness has been found to lead to more job interviews, more job offers, higher income and greater overall success.

    But wait! That’s not the whole story.

    There’s also something known as the “beauty is beastly effect.” Beauty, apparently, can actually work against you. In fact, it can bring you increased discrimination in hiring and on the job, as well as less trust and loyalty when you’re a leader.

    “Women are in an impossible catch-22 when it comes to advice on appearance,” says Selena Rezvani, author of Pushback and a speaker and consultant on women and leadership. “Most modern advice on appearance suggests you find a perfect balance between acknowledging your femininity but not overemphasizing it. This increasingly thin line is hard to locate for the average woman, let alone translate and personalize. The short message to women is: your femininity is an asset and liability.”

    From makeup to hair color, metrics measuring attractiveness and success are all over the map. Studies in both the U.S. and the U.K. (both sponsored by cosmetics companies, it must be noted) have concluded that the stuff can help you appear more competent on the job. But again, watch out! Wear too much — or not in quite the right way — or just generally look like you’ve spent a lot of time on your grooming, and you might find that you earn less or appear less trustworthy. Going gray has long been considered more of a challenge for women than for men (does it signify experience and wisdom, or just old age?), but even other colors have unspoken connotations. During tough economic times, blonde women have been reported to dye their hair darker so as to be taken more seriously.

    “Whether it’s about our appearance or whether or not to assert ourselves, we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t,” says Bonnie Marcus, president and CEO of Women’s Success Coaching. “It’s a balancing act that ambitious women need to be aware of.”

    There’s not an easy solution. “I believe the only general statement you can make about this is that women need to be savvy about the culture of their organization,” Marcus says. As the old saying goes, “dress for the job you want,” she adds.

    不同行业的女性领袖通常能毫不费力地给出通往成功的秘诀。不过如果你问她们,职场女性应当树立怎样的形象,才更利于实现职业目标,她们很可能就不知从何答起了。

    为什么呢?因为对于职场女性而言,所有关于外表的话题都是矛盾重重的雷区。

    她们被告知,有魅力的人也会有更好的境遇。由于人类与生俱来的爱美之心,人们认为漂亮的员工更聪明,能力更强,有着更好的一切。更富魅力的人能得到更多面试机会,更容易找到工作,收入更高,就总体而言也更加成功。

    且慢,情况并非都是这样。

    还有一种说法叫“红颜祸水”。显然,美貌也可能对你不利。实际上,在应聘和工作中,美貌可能让你遭受更多歧视,而在你担任领导职位时,它还可能降低下属对你的信赖感和忠诚度。《反推:聪明的女人如何要求并坚持她们想要的》(Pushback)一书的作者、演说家兼女性和领导力顾问赛琳娜•雷兹瓦尼表示:“有关外表的建议往往让女性陷入一种悖论。当今的大多数建议都是女性要适当彰显女人味儿,但不要过分强调它。但是对于大多数女人来说,这个分寸越来越难以把握,要活学活用到自己身上就更难了。简而言之,女人味既是女性的资本,又是一种负担。”

    从妆容到头发颜色,评判魅力和成功的标准各不相同。在英美两国进行的调查得出了一个结论(必须说明,这些调查都是由化妆品公司赞助的):多穿点可以让你在工作中显得更加能干。但是请注意!穿得太多——或者穿得不合适——或者你貌似花了很多时间来打扮自己,都可能使你的能力看上去大打折扣,或者显得不那么值得信赖。长期以来,人们认为鬓角染霜对女性的挑战大于男性(它意味着经验丰富并且充满智慧,还是仅代表着衰老?),但人们对其它发色也有隐含的解读。据说在经济困难时期,为了获得更多重视,金发女郎会把自己的头发染成深色。

    女性职业咨询网站Women’s Success Coaching的总裁兼首席执行官邦妮•马库斯表示:“无论我们的外表是否得体,无论我们是否坚持自我,我们怎么做都会遭到非难。有追求的女性需要了解这种平衡之道。”

    没有什么简单的解决办法。马库斯表示:“对此你唯一能说的就是:女性需要了解自己公司的文化。”就像一句老话说的那样,“穿上与工作相配的衣服。”她补充道。


    Rezvani draws two guiding principles from the most successful women executives she’s worked with. First, “they ‘fit in with flair,’ meaning they generally conform to the look of their work culture or industry and—to a lesser extent—demonstrate their own personal style,” she explains. Second, “they round up, not down, in terms of formality, even as the American workplace gets increasingly casual.”

    Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer is a good example, Rezvani says: “Mayer is known for her feminine, modern-chic suits and dresses, a look that telegraphs that she embraces her femininity and appreciates fashion. Yet her ‘flair’ is quiet enough that her clothes don’t detract from her verbal message. She also looks considerably more formal than most in the legendarily casual industry of IT.”

    Neena Newberry, president of Newberry Executive Solutions, says women should think about what they want to be known for. “If someone were to describe you, what are the top three things you’d want them to say?” she explains. “Regardless of the rules, figure out who you want to be and bring it to life in language and appearance.”

    But ultimately, the most successful women don’t get too caught up in all the attractiveness hullabaloo. It is your inner qualities that set you apart, says Erica Ariel Fox, president of Mobius Executive Leadership and author of Winning from Within.

    “We all know people who stand out because of a sparkle they bring into a room,” Fox says. “That’s what people remember—your spark.”

    雷兹瓦尼从曾经和她共事过的最成功的女性高管身上,总结出了两条指导准则。首先,“她们‘能够将时尚融入环境’,这意味着她们通常会让自己的外表符合工作文化或行业形象——并稍微体现出自己的个性,”她解释道。其次,“即便美国的职场着装越来越随意,她们也会在此基础上选择稍微更正式的装扮,而不是更休闲。”

    雅虎公司(Yahoo)首席执行官玛丽莎•梅耶尔就是个很好的例子。雷兹瓦尼说:“梅耶尔以时髦别致的正装和连衣裙著名,她的打扮彰显出她的女性特质和时尚品味。这种时髦但又足够低调的着装风格,不会转移人们对她言谈的关注。事实上,在IT这个以着装随意著称的行业中,她的打扮要比大部分人正式得多。”

    高管培训机构Newberry Executive Solutions的总裁妮娜•纽贝里表示,女性需要想清楚,希望别人注意到自己的哪些方面。她解释道:“如果有人要描述你,你最想要他们说出哪三个词?抛开束缚,想清楚你要做什么样的人,并在谈吐和外表上实现它。”

    不过最终,那些最成功的女性不会在魅力问题上太受困扰。高管培训机构Mobius Executive Leadership的总裁、《赢在内心》(Winning from Within)的作者艾丽卡•阿里尔•福克斯表示,让你与众不同的是你的内在品质。

    福克斯说:“我们都知道,人们之所以脱颖而出,是因为他们能在黑暗的房间中点亮火花。人们记住的,是你释放的火花。”(财富中文网)

    译者:严匡正

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