你是在裤袋里藏了瓶古堡拉斐，还是见到我有点儿“性趣”大发？ / Is That a Chateau Lafitte in Your Pocket, or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

你是在裤袋里藏了瓶古堡拉斐，还是见到我有点儿“性趣”大发？

香港和法国媒体于11月底纷纷爆料，称法国驻香港总领事因涉嫌在香港某私人会所盗窃数瓶名酒已遭停职，并受召回国接受调查。

一般情况下，任何地方只要发生外交人员涉嫌犯罪的事件，媒体都会对事实和官方评论轻描淡写，而对“知情人”提供的种种细节大加渲染。

尽管如此，从所有媒体报道中普遍涉及到的部分细节来看，已足以让我们对目前已披露的事件有个基本的了解。

法国总领事现年46岁，衣冠楚楚，一表人才。在香港乡村俱乐部，他被监控镜头拍下将一瓶价格不菲的红酒偷偷藏进自己的裤袋。更糟糕的是，这已经不是头一次了。

据传，这位活跃的外交官与巴黎政府高层关系密切。也许他还曾一度做过演员梦。不过，大多数专家都建议最好还是不要从监控录像开始演艺生涯为妙。

香港媒体对这一事件的评论可谓五花八门，有些媒体对当事人一夜之间身败名裂扼腕叹息，也有些媒体说他是“罪有应得”。

有同情者认为，近来高档红酒尤其是法国红酒的价格直线窜升，在某种程度上是由于中国的红酒消费量急剧攀升造成的，与之相应的是中国富裕阶层庞大的新兴消费能力，以及他们对新投资渠道，特别是升值快、同时又让人醉意盎然的投资产品的追求。

同情的意见都集中在这位善良的法国公务员身上，认为他的薪水低于商界同仁，却承载着出入高级社交场所、体面款待客人的厚望。如今红酒贵为天价，他只能采取一切手段死撑门面，维护官场形象。对形势的判断错误酿成了这场悲剧，让他和他的家人付出了惨重的代价：他失去了工作、名誉，很可能还有整个职业生涯。

虽然我并没有正式地研究过这件事，但根据一些非正式的统计，我估计在香港大约700万人口中，至少有两个半是同情这位外交官的。

而其余的690多万人都会异口同声地说“他活该！”大家似乎都对抓到了高官的现行，并把他驱逐出境感到兴高采烈。

有意思的是，回顾历史，每当任何一个国家的大部分国民陷入了经济困境和不安状况时， 总会有两种现象最能牵动公众的态度：一是“指责外国人”，二是“埋怨政府”。

当然，这是另外一个话题了。

毫无疑问，这位前总领事现在一定是痛定思痛，要从这次悲惨的经历中汲取教训，其中有一点就是未来一定要分清天花板上的消防喷淋和监控镜头的区别。

在我所看过的各种报道中，有一个细节没有经过仔细地推敲，而这个细节又是至关重要和令人费解的。

法国主流报纸《世界报》援引“本案知情人”的说法，称前总领事先生显然是把酒先藏在了裤子里，然后才带出俱乐部餐厅的。

乍看上去，这似乎简单明了，但是……

稍等一下，红酒瓶的平均高度是12英寸（30.48厘米），瓶身周长接近10英寸（25.4厘米）。即便是法国男人，要把它藏在裤子里走来走去，尺寸也有点超大吧。

一想到这儿，我的脑子立刻变得有点儿秀逗。

Is That a Chateau Lafitte in Your Pocket, or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

In late November, Hong Kong and French news media were abuzz with a juicy report that the French Consul General in the S.A.R. had been recalled and suspended from his duties over the alleged theft of one or more bottles of expensive wine from a private club in the territory.

As is often the case with matters involving alleged criminal misconduct by members of the diplomatic corps in any location, news reports were short on hard facts and official comment, and long on details provided by "sources knowledgeable about the matter."

Still, there were some details common enough in all the news media reports to give us a basic picture of what apparently transpired.

The Consul General, a handsome, dapper 46-year old, was apparently filmed by a closed circuit security television (CCTV) camera slipping an expensive bottle of wine into his trousers at the exclusive Hong Kong Country Club. To make matters worse, it was not the first time.

The dashing diplomat, known for his high-flying political connections in Paris, might have once entertained dreams of a film career. On the other hand, most of the leading experts recommend against starting one's acting career on the CCTV platform.

Commentary on the case in Hong Kong ranged across the spectrum, from those sympathetic to his career and reputation imploding overnight, to the those who said "Serves him right!".

Among the sympathetic voices, there were those who commented on the dramatic recent rise in the prices of expensive wines, French wines in particular, due in part to China's growing taste for the tipple, matched by the enormous new spending power of China's affluent, and the search by these folks for new investment vehicles, especially those which rise quickly in value while at the same time making you tipsy.

The sympathetic view of the case was centered on the image of a well-meaning French public servant, paid less than his counterparts in the business world, and yet expected to travel in elite social circles and entertain in appropriate style. Wine prices being sky-high today, he was resorting to desperate means to keep up the appearances expected of him in line with his official duties. A tragic error of judgment in the circumstances cost him and his family dearly : his job, his reputation, and quite possibly, his career.

I have not done formal research on this, but based on some informal work, I would estimate that of Hong Kong's population of roughly 7 million people, there must be at least 2 ½ people who took the sympathetic view.

The rest of the 6.9 million-plus people would say "Serves him right!". People seemed to take delight in this high-flying chap getting caught in the act and banished.

It's interesting that if we look at history, two phenomena tend to gain traction in public attitudes at times when a significant part of any population is experiencing economic pain and uncertainty. One is "blame the foreigners" and the other is "blame the officials."

But that's another discussion.

No doubt the former Consul General is deep in reflection now about lessons learned through this sad misadventure, one of which must no doubt be to pay closer attention in future to the difference between those ceiling-mounted fire sprinklers and CCTV security cameras.

There remains one aspect of this story which none of the press reports which I have seen has examined in detail, and it is a crucial and fascinating one.

According to the report by the leading French newspaper Le Monde, quoting "sources close to the case", the former Consul General apparently hid the wine in his trousers before removing it from the Club's restaurant.

Seems fairly straightforward at first glance, but...

Wait just one moment, please. The average bottle of wine is about 12 inches tall and nearly 10 inches in circumference. Even for a Frenchman, that's a huge object to be carrying around in your trousers.

The mind boggles.